Resurfacing after a break
Going with the flow of hunger and desires
We are back!
OK, so it wasn’t a break, let’s call it a change. I’d love to say I was whiling away the days, off work, yomping around mountains in the sunshine, catching up with friends over hot drinks and sweet treats, but it was quite the opposite.
I’ve been looking at the hills through my window, holed up at home working all the hours, and spending the non-working time revising and studying. My eyes feel square after staring at a screen for two months straight and I’m sure I look more pale than usual.
I have even lost fitness! I did my best to try and maintain a base level of fitness and exercise, and I did implement some advice we write about here about exercise breaks improving cognitive performance, which was successful (and it does actually work wonders).
Some days I had short time and no mental capacity, which meant I could walk around the local hills to try and gently de-load my brain; while other days I had no time and no mental capacity, which meant I could just about manage a walk around the block for some fresh air and escape the monotony of the same four walls for 15 minutes.
In my mind, I plan these intensive work/academic blocks as X amount of weeks of mental exertion, followed by bouncing back immediately into a normal level of life, work, exercise, and commitments as soon as it’s over.
My crucial mistake (every time) is forgetting that this type of scheduling is impossible. Living at 100 mph obviously isn’t sustainable (despite my best intentions), and you don’t just bounce back.
When I finished the intense work period and studying, I was so mentally and physically exhausted that I couldn’t just continue with normal life. I needed to spend a few weeks recovering before I could get back to a normal level of energy.
At the time of writing, I feel like I’m almost recovered and have the hunger back for sport and exercise and so on, but I found that I didn’t want to do any of my usual active hobbies of fell running and swimming or any high-heart rate exercise, despite the weather being glorious outside.
What I wanted to do was other things I never get time for. It wasn’t a lack of motivation for sport, it was a lack of want. I wanted to spend my time doing other things I found interesting.
I’ve written before about how to find your mojo after losing it, and the key thing is letting it come back to you. Forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to will not end well.
I followed the hunger and desire to a bookshop for a new stack and spent some time reading in the sun. I also unboxed my old D-SLR camera that was coated in dust and decided to try and remember how to use it.
In my non-working hours, I was outside walking and photographing things and spent indoor time reading and redownloading Adobe Lightroom.
I don’t know what it was about these activities — slow and satisfying, perhaps, but it was how I wanted to spend my time, and it was (is) fulfilling.
I enjoyed being a camera rookie again, re-learning the tools and having a mixed bag of failure and success.
I’ve been feeding that hunger with a bit of what I fancy and finding joy in small things again. I spent a lot of time at beaches and by the sea enjoying the peace. I will continue to do so for however long it lasts.
The mountains, hills and lakes are not going anywhere, and the top 15% of my fitness will return. It’s no big deal.
As I find my energy returning to normal levels, I have felt the desire to increase my swimming distance in the past week or so, and mix up the intensity and activities, which is encouraging.
So, to borrow a phrase from Emma, enjoy the seasons of your life.
I’m not in the business of advice giving, but despite being exhausted, I have enjoyed slowing down and taking on board my own research. So, all I can say is, figure out what you’re hungry for, and see where it takes you.
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Enjoyed this a lot. Listening for what calls to you, and following this to find fulfilment, is a great way to live. It can take time to tune into what nourishes us, yet it’s always there within us. Another great article, thank you.